Spring Bays News

The fall colours are beginning to appear on the Island. Last week we had to travel through the Muskoka District on Hwy 69/400. The colours, while not at their peak, were beautiful.

Thank you to everyone for your condolences on the loss of my daughter, Melanie Abel.

As reported in the Expositor, the water level of Lake Huron is up 6 cm over last year’s level. Ice Lake is down, at this writing, over one foot – one foot used for the convenience of those still using real sizes which they can easily envision.

Quoted from various newspapers. “Weary salesclerk: Did you ever wonder how many fig leaves Eve tried on before she said, “I’ll take this one?” “Man to neighbour: “I looked up my family tree and found that I was the sap.” “Father discussing teenager: “That room’s such a mess, I wouldn’t go in there without a tetanus shot.”

The construction work on and off the Island has certainly improved driving conditions with the exception of the Spanish River Bridge Project. The contractor, from the beginning of the work, has failed, dismally, in the area of traffic control. The crews don’t exhibit any concept of the principles of traffic control. Their approach to such control is ludicrous! Allow an extra hour to reach your destination if you are travelling east on Hwy 17, to compensate for the unnecessary delay at this project.

Proudly showing off his new apartment to a friend late one night, the drunk led the way to his bedroom, where there was a big brass gong. “What’s that big brass gong for?” asked the friend. “It’s not a gong. It’s a talking clock,” the drunk replied. “A talking clock? How’s it work?” “Watch and listen,” said the drunk. He picked up a hammer, gave the gong an ear-shattering pound and stepped back. Someone on the other side of the wall screamed, “Hey, you jerk! It’s three o’clock in the morning!”

According to Hydro One, we will be faced by another hydro service interruption in about two weeks, which will allow them to complete their work.

The water level of Ice Lake has risen marginally as have the levels of other Island lakes… hopefully, there will be considerably more rain before the snow starts to fall.

An older woman entered the bar where she was a regular customer and, while talking to the bartender, told him it was her birthday. He said, “Since it’s your birthday, this is on me…. Would you like your usual? Scotch and two drops of water?” As the woman is finishing her drink a customer on her right said, “I’d like to buy you a drink too.” The woman answered, “Thank you, bartender, I’d like another Scotch and two drops of water please.” “Coming right up,” said the bartender. As she finished her drink a customer on her left said, “I’d like to buy you a drink as well.” As the bartender serves her this drink, he says, “Ma’am, I’m dying of curiosity. Why always Scotch with only two drops of water?” The woman replied, “Sonny when you’re my age, you’ve learned to hold your liquor. Holding your water, however, is a whole other issue.”

The highway construction from the east entrance to Gore Bay to Kagawong is almost complete, driving that route is now a pleasure. Now if they can eliminate the holes that are held together by bumps between Kagawong and Little Current, the trip from Gore Bay to Little Current would no longer be a challenge! Probably Hwy. 542 between the police station intersection at Gore Bay and Mindemoya will continue to be ignored as a result of the donation of millions of dollars, by the provincial government, to Sudbury to allow that city to repair their roads. Such donation apparently fails to take into account the vast gulf between Sudbury’s tax revenue and that of the entire Island.

Ervin and Irene MacIntyre have recently returned from a trip to Brampton area to visit family.

A man bought a parrot and took it home but the parrot starts insulting him and really gets nasty so the man put it in the freezer to teach it a lesson. He heard the bird squawking for a few minutes that shortly resulted in complete silence. The man opened the freezer door, the parrot walked out, looked up at the man and said, “I apologize for offending you and I humbly ask for your forgiveness.” The man answered, “Well, thank you…I forgive you.” Then the parrot said, “If you don’t mind my asking, what did the chicken do?”

Spring Bay euchre will begin on Friday, November 4 at 7:30 at the Spring Bay Community Centre. Come on out and bring a friend.

Any news? Call Dorothy and I’ll put it in the paper, 705-282-2992, if I don’t answer, please leave a message, I’ll return your call.