Port Elgin writer thanks the Canadian Autoworkers for wind turbine roulette

To the Expositor:

We have it here in Port Elgin at the CAW (Canadian Auto Workers) parking lot, real close to everything. You could go right up to it, give it a big hug, give it a friendly slap and maybe whisper to it “keep up the good work sport.” You may even feel the need to give it a kiss or two if you become overwhelmed by its friendliness.

Why, one might think the CAW is starting a new game. A name for it might be CAW Wind Turbine Roulette. It appears to be a modern updated version of an old game called Russian roulette. It’s similar because the players do not know when something is really going to happen.

So who will be playing this game? It looks like “players” can be anyone, male or female, young children to older adults, healthy or sickly and also tourists. Industrial wind turbines are not known to be picky or prejudiced. In fact CAW roulette is so easy to play that you automatically become an instant player the second your even near the CAW complex in Port Elgin. It doesn’t get any easier than that.

So how does one play this game? It’s easy—all you have to do is just be within 1.6 km of their wind turbine. You could be walking or in your car driving to Gobles Grove Beach or you might have business to do within the CAW. You could be driving a school bus full of children or maybe you’re visiting one of the homeowners living beside it.

So how do you win at CAW roulette? Well first you might want to know some skills wind turbines have, like they are very skilful at killing millions of birds so if your playing the game and your in the right spot you could get a piece or pieces of bird splattered all over you. If you’re not paying attention you might even get a bird beak in your eye.

Wind turbines are good at having blade failures. Pieces have been documented as travelling up to 1.6 km. Blade pieces have gone through the roofs and walls of nearby buildings. Here game players could really plan strategies or maybe just leave it up to luck.

Some other skills industrial wind turbines have been documented as having are electrocutions, crush injuries, road closures, fires also irritating and debilitating noises just to mention a few. For you winter players, many ice throws have been documented including one that nearly cut someone in half.

Just think, different groups could be formed to play this game with maybe prizes or points and rules that help decide if you’re a loser or winner when something happens or doesn’t happen while playing.

We can all thank the CAW for having placed the equipment needed to play this game in Port Elgin.

Good luck to all that play the CAW Wind Turbine Roulette game.

Charley Urbanek
Port Elgin